having a baby with a woman you don't love

Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? I don't want to burden her with any of this, especially now that she needs to be calm and feel secure. If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. SAY IT AGAIN! AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. A baby doesn't get to choose who his parents are so I think if you feel you won't be able to love your baby, it would be best for the both of y'all to be open to adoption. A cesarean birth, which accounts for 21% of births today, costs around. This may not change her decision, but best to be honest. Though it didn't work out, I never regretted it. In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. It wasn't ideal but eventually I got a better job and bought myself a nice car. It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. So are you guys in a relationship or just friend with benefits? I hated the way I felt with him. Noooo you have to marry and then spend the rest of your lives in hell with someone you slept with? At least you know your decision to not hook up with a guy was definitely the right one if he insults you for it. U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? The stories of council-flat, benefit scrounger single mums are so far-fetched. SHE WILL ALSO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR HER CHILD. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means.". @jessi, how come i never get to meet these kind of guys,i swear i would have cut off your stupid sausage,put in the toilet and flush it off nonsence, @jessi, maame plz its rude to cut sumones sausage.sincerely the fault might come from the gal,maybe she did self arrangement ahohyehy3.and resulted in the pregnancy. I know life would be so much easier if we were together, but I don't know if it's worth it. Single. As a woman, you get insulted for doing it, and you get insulted for not doing it. "We are. I grew up where my dad treated me like ****, so I wanted to be the best father I could. Learn more about. The episode was written by Jennifer Crittenden and . Learn more about, Realizing I Had PPD After Returning to Work as a Soldier in the U.S. Army, Planned c section too presumptuous??? Either stay or get off the pot but be careful how you play this. Where are you from? Right now her parents are planning to bring her over to my house. I do have family but financially they can't help me or buy me a car bc he would be petty enough to keep the one he got me, it's under his name, I don't have anywhere to go or any Finances since I quit my job moving in with him. In fact, I was planning on breaking up with him right before I found out I was pregnant. We had two kidsnice little family unit. i know for sure u dated her for longer b4 she got pregnant start looking at the quality this gal have n think of ur daughter after that give her a chance n delete that mind of not loving her out of ur mind n married her ..am sure God will give u new hrt to love her.. AND THE END OF THE DAY IS ALSO HERS. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. BE A MANam done. You are in control of your life. When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you an example of how the other side of things could go. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. No going back. Made a mistake without any intention to make it surely will freak someone out. She needs someone that truly loves her. The guy obviously does not love the girl in question yet went ahead and had a baby with her out of wedlock. His baby mama got engaged to some dude while pregnant calls her fiance the kid's 'daddy', despite my friend wanting to be a father to his child. You may want to consider marriage counseling talk to your pastor, priest whatever. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. After a little while, if you still feel the same (i.e. Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. You are right it is not fair to her. Maybe he doesn't like being used. He pays for the stuff bc he can afford too and didn't want me working while pregnant which was fine when everything was good. but she didn't have her baby . Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. Why is she with you? I was in love with someone else. With the lowest fertility rate in the . Also, you must then decide if you want to be in the child's life, how you will coordinate co-parenting a kid when you're not in a relationship, etc. Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. Nobody really knows what to expect when having a baby, but it does change everything, even if you're determined it won't. Some people may view the prospect of that change as scary and they may doubt their parental skills." Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. :(. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. It happens almost all the time that children involved in such situations rather suffer the consequencies. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. Being in a lo. Friends with benefits are often just friends who you sleep with, with no emotional attachment. My youngest doesn't really remember anything. I've made my OWN money since I was 15 years old and before I quit my job to MOVE Paid for all my own stuff and bills WITHOUT his help. I just don't think it's right to bring a child into the world when you can see the end of the relationship. She may have decided against an abortion thinking you will still be with her, but if not, TELL HER it is over and you will not be involved with her anymore (except of course whatever involvement you ahve with the child, support and custody-wise). We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. Your bodies will fit together perfectly. Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. What now? It stressed us kids out like you wouldn't believe, all the kids are dysfunctional, serious trust issues. Sounds like she was looking for a sugar daddy and ended up getting pregnant. As I said earlier, each person has different needs. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. I too got burned with the kid trap. I want to be a father!!! We've been together 9. 2) Are you prepared to forego this child and create a loving family with someone you truly love (which means you will wait for this new love to bear you a child).but be completely guilty all your life to abandon your first newborn just because you dont love your girlfriend. Rightfully so! You could have an easy pregnancy, a quick easy delivery and a healthy happy baby. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. So they say don't break up, move, change careers, etc in the first year. I too feel torn by a similar situation. If you don't love her then don't be with her. My only advice is to make sure you don't make your or your wife or your baby's life miserable. Shy behavior A woman who is in love with you will start to be unusually shy. DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? After all, a 70-year-old guy can still have kids. You said you quit your job Is that because of the pregnancy? You need to get in contact with services and leave. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. I don't have any memories of them not fighting. Firstly, I am sending my regards to you all. You don't want support, you just want to hear he is a bad guy and you are a victim. You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. If she says she doesn't want the relationship then that's fine but if a man says he doesn't then that's selfish. If you don't, pursuing. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. K lemme get one thing straight. I know she doesn't want to be with me and I stop loving her and I don't want to be with her anymore. I want to be a father!!! But I want to be a father. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). Immerse yourself in nature. Here Are 10 Behaviors A Woman Exhibits When She's In Love 1. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! 9 min read. They hurt the most. Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. My boyfriend and I have only been together since November we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. They finally divorced when I was 19. not the father, mother or child. That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. @Teejay,hahahahaha, that cracked me up, but coming back to the issue, what da hell???? Its best to rip the band-aid off now instead of living a miserable life indefinitely. Take a time to learn from your mistake so that you won't fall into the same problem. We are trying our best but we don't know how long it will last. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. There are midnight feedings, changing diapers, rocking a screaming infant and little sleep. That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you. gals are expect dnt 4get. So, we got married. form is an illusion. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? I just put myself on hold. Regret will always be there when we made a mistake. Support yourself. Source these things out and make a plan to leave. Chandra is a mom of three boys (8, 4, and 3) and the founder of Oh Lovely Day, a lifestyle blog with a honest look at motherhood.She is trying to create more of an open dialogue with a no . Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. Hair. Lastly, keeping a child she wanted to abort could cause her to hate the child, it's not guaranteed she would love the child when it was born. This is the most stupid guy I have seen in my life twety something years of existance. NOW WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY OF US HAD MESSED UP CHILDHOOD? My ex won't come back to me after I hurt h Ex girlfriend is pregnant with her new boyfriend months after breaking up with me. You should have your own baby feelings figured out. My friends-with-benefits and I are having a baby (6 months along). Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means. I find the really difficult and I just have idea what do. In the end its all about the kids. My boyfriend cheated on me with his baby mama and now she is pregnant but I still love him HELP!! And one of the problems is the appearance of a question having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it? As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. Be mature about it don't depend on her to be safe you be safe, if she don't comply then don't have sex! Begin speaking about the kids, as well, mentioning different accomplishments they've made lately . If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. Long story short. Long story short my ex dumped me. Hey I know exactly how you feel. This is why friends with benefits is never a good idea. There are many things that may cause a broken heart. And if you guys were just friends with benefits, why continue the pregnancy? I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. Trust me dude, do whatever you have to to end this A.S.A.P. bcus a womens cry n tongue is very sharp. My daughter was born healthy, but of course small. So, chances are, she's not speaking as she normally would. You do make a lot of sense and i guess this is the only way forward. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. Most were married to . This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. In other words, those maternal. The transition from being a couple to having a baby and becoming parents is an exciting, empowering, and life-changing experience. In the episode, Homer recounts the story of Maggie's birth when the kids ask why there are no photos of her in the family album. It was important to me that my children had as normal upbringing as possible. Every toddler boy I've ever met has a destructive streak I am just not into. IS THAT WHAT SHE/HER DESERVES A GARANTEED **** UP ENVRIOMENT? Grown apart and have no interest in each others lives! Romantic relationship of beautiful couple. cos no parents will watch their daughter to be ignore by a guy whom impregnated her\.. and am not even sure de gurl will accept that U must learn how to love her love grows strongly if u give it a chance.. give that a try ok without causin her much pain. Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. You're a mom now. the guy might turn into a psychopath and malevolent towards the girl.he would also probably turn into a serial cheater and wife beater which is usually what happens. I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! Don't just jump into the discussion; ease your way into it. Having a baby with someone you don't love. AND NOW EVERY ONE IS UPHAPPY, MISARABLE, INCLUDING THE CHILD. But I don't know if I can be with her for the rest of my life. If it gets closer to your due date though, and you feel like nothing's changed, I do think it'd be a good idea to consider adoption. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. Man and woman making love in bed. U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. I sacraficed my needs for them. The Preferential Parent. Girlfriend Brokeup while pregnant. Nothing from the start. He's controlling. Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? Has it ever gotten better. Just not with her. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. We are two total opposite people. a deed frowned upon by society and seen as a problem The deed has already been done instead of advising and coming up with ways to make sure the child is brought up in a obviously deserving loving environment that the child needs instead of an environment filled with resentment, hate, misery, spitefulness etc etc, you all are pushing.insulting and forcing the guy to guy marry the girl in question.. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. Next time, WATCH BEFORE YOU LEAP, U see how some guys end up sleeping with gurls dey do not love?? Being in a loveless relationship is not a good example for the LO you already have and the one on the way. dont do it I married my ex for the same reasons it was terrible for not only us but my children. Long story short: we've togheter Long distance girlfriend pregnant and is thinking about breaking up. Have you told him you're pregnant yet? We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. @jessi, LMFAOI like ur commentVery BLUNT and to the POINT. She is 6 months pregnant now. The "baby blues" are a form of depression - just not as severe as PPD. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always My greatest concern is the child. Thank you for purchase! For many, it was an easy decision that often came down to a gut feeling and the common refrain that. They were always fighting. Think about it if you can't love him ever then end it and learn to co parent. If you're still contemplating having a family, you're still young enough to have that luxury. My ex boyfriend keeps liking my photos. Know theways to move on after a bad relationship to help you to get better. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. He is capable of choosing to be with you and not having a child with you, or leaving if he decides he wants a child more. 11 Can't Shake The Baby Blues. I would sacrifice my own happiness and stay for the kids not interested in been with anyone else just want my girls and soon to arrive boy to be happy? (5 kg) or more a year after giving birth, Live Science previously reported. It's no one else's responsibility to support you. The preferential parent is a parent who loves one child, the " golden child ," but doesn't love the other (or others), a " scapegoat .". 15) His biological clock is ticking. cos it not easy to becme a single mother huh. THE CHILD WILL HAVE MOTHER AND FATHER TOGETHER. After a wonderful pregnancy I spontaneously gave birth at 29 weeks. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. Good luck to you. Cost Of Food At The Plush Restaurant Of Akufo-Addos Daughter Causes Stir Online Video, Richie Mensah Confirms Kuami Eugenes Deal With Empire, Hw3 Nie Okyer3 Bi Watch Epic Moment Joselyn Dumas Stood Inches In Sight Of Her Least Favourite Fan, Be Careful, She Destroyed Moesha And Hajia 4 Real Fella Makafui Warned Over Friendship With Salma, Alan Cash, Kwasi Nyantakyi, Kwasi Appiah, Kurt Okraku And Other Dignitaries Storm Christian Atsus One Week Celebration, This Is Like A Hair Dressing Salon Social Media Trolls Tonardo After Flaunting His Sakatuu Living Room. Then suddenly she is all happy, and loved up which I find really hard to believe. You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. Sucked it up and did what I had to do for my kids. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! ISNT THAT WHAT WE ALL WANT? And the best way to do it is to proof to anyone that this version of you is so much better than you were. Well of course he would keep the car. Recently I found out I am pregnant. What can I do please? Good luck to you. However I would like children just not in this circumstance you know? You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. Do I have to spend the rest of my life with a woman I don't love? I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. "Most women will find intercourse painful up until the three-month mark," notes Ross. Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. I feel like I'm trapped and no where to go. And if your parents think you guys are in love Then how does that work? No one would want their daughter and unborn grandchild in that type of situation. Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. Opinions please. WTF re u saying tat u will nt marry her if I was tat gal u will marry by force so tat when u die n return u will fu*k people that u love total rubbish.Now u want freedom my ass u wont get so whos gonna to marry ur baby mommy?? May you both be happy and healthy. Can you be responsible enough to make sure you are being safe? To think about the kids. It is something i always knew deep down but i never acted on it. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. Just not with her. We can and should celebrate those things while also giving our love and support to those who are struggling to get there, and to those who don't want any part of that scene, ever. And both of you surely need to stay in touch. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? And remember, folks who don't want kids don't want kids. If you'd like to talk more you could Facebook message me my names Logan Downey this is my profile pic but in rainbow. We made it to 8yrs. . 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. **** will get tough before it gets better, but it will work out in the end. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. Man up and take care of your kid, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you let her, or her family, or your family guilt trip you into "doing the right thing" and marrying her. It tears me apart. 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having a baby with a woman you don't love